Heaven is a cold beer

With all the talk about the Rapture recently, I have been thinking about what Heaven might be like.  After an unexpected night celebrating our survival of the Rapture on Saturday evening that included the consumption of beer (and the expected effects the next morning), I remembered a conversation I had a few weeks ago with a friend of mine that in Heaven beer would have no calories and would not cause hangovers.  This, of course, led to further contemplation on my part about what may or may not* be waiting for me on the other side.

Since I have already mentioned beer, I’ll go ahead and continue on that thread.  First, and most importantly, as I have already mentioned, beer will be calorie-free.  It will also not cause hangovers.  The best part?  In Heaven water will be beer.  This all stems from the conversation I had with my friend after I realized that, though I love beer, even just a little of it does not love me.

As long as we’re going to have calorie-free beer in Heaven, why not have calorie-free food?  All food in Heaven will be calorie-free.  Everything.  Ice cream?  Zero calories.  Chocolate mousse?  Good for you.  Creamy pasta with bacon and sausage?  Indulge all you want.  Fried chicken?  Call the colonel.  In Heaven you can eat as much as you want and it doesn’t matter.  I sometimes live like that here on Earth, but I have to suffer the consequences (either a larger pants size or time working out), but not so in Heaven.

In Heaven there will be no wanting.  No wanting for food.  No wanting for water.  No wanting for peace.  No wanting for a roof over your head.  No wanting for an end to a war that seems to have gone on forever and to have lost meaning.  No wanting for loved ones to come home.  No wanting for justice after a senseless act of violence.  No wanting for acceptance.  No wanting for a job.  No wanting for a little more time.  No wanting for help.  Everyone will have exactly what they need.  No one will live to excess.  Life will be lived in harmony.

I see Heaven as being a lot like Earth, but without the struggles we face here.  No fluffy clouds, unless you want a fluffy cloud chair.  Then you can have one.  In Heaven, you can have whatever you can dream, as long as it doesn’t do harm to you or to others.  People will still have jobs, but not to make money, because money leads to evil and there will be no money in Heaven.  The jobs will be for “fun” and mostly entrepreneurial.  Shopkeepers, photographers, restauranteurs, etc.  There will also be teachers to teach the children and professors to teach the adults.  But just because they want to learn.  Not because they have to.  But, again, this is just my view of Heaven.

And lastly, waiting for us in Heaven will be all of the loved ones and friends that left this life before we did.  I personally am most excited for that aspect of Heaven.  I can’t wait to sit down with my grandfather and my friend Nicole and have a calorie-free water-beer and catch up on everything that will have happened in my life; however long that ends up being.

*I am a proud Agnostic girl, as evidenced by the Religious Views section of my Facebook profile.  This may affect where I end up at the end of my natural life.


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